Thursday, November 17, 2005

The Maginot Fashion Line

Went to buy some clothes the other day. I was feeling confident that my body has become more trimly European – what with all this walking and smaller portions and fresh food. I paced the shiny halls of the local mall looking for a store to try my luck. I walzed into Zara, a European clothier with stylish duds for reasonable prices – they even list US sizes alongside the European ones for easy reference! I found a couple great deals and headed toward the fitting rooms.

Ah, the moment of truth arrived. Truth = French bodies are not like my body. I gingerly yanked a medium shirt over my un-exercised, but still-broad shoulders, and generous gene-pool bosom. Had I accidentally raided the Zara children’s section? This medium is not supposed to show my navel and the scoop neck is about to become a v-neck…

Hmph. Better luck with the sexy white jeans? Non. I couldn’t get their slimfit past my right thigh and teetered precariously in the tiny dressing room trying to remove the jeans without falling or ripping the tiny-T.

I breathed in, assuring myself that my brawny American “athletique chic” build doesn’t need these trendy teeny clothes anyway. However, upon further contemplation, I moved beyond my “proud to be from the land of Venus Williams and Mia Hamm” harrumph, and came up with another theory. Perhaps this is a subtle French revenge taken out on my Germanic body. “Those thick Prussian honches have no chance in our cute pedal-pushers and faux-fur boots!” Like a size 6 kick in my Wittgens shins. The Maginot Fashion line – and this one works! If I can ever peel these dang white jeans off, I’ll surely wave them in surrender.


And in an unrelated story - you can now look at a few photos from my parents visit a few weeks ago. Hope the link works this time... BRITTANY AND NANTES WITH THE FAM

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are a hilarious writer! I can so see the entire thing. If that is YOUR fate, I'd hate to see what it'd be like for us mere mortals.
love,
Rachel

marci said...

Bumped into Glenford and Marty on Sunday and they passed on your blog info . . . oh, it makes me long for that too short trip I made to France several years ago. Narrow streets, picturesque towns, Paris, plenty of cheese and lots of wine.

Katie and Jeff, so glad you're doing well in that other world. I'd love to see more pics but many of the links didn't work. Hmm . . . any ideas? Email when you can. Any chance you'll be in PA over Christmas? Would love to catch up with you.

marci

Katie W. said...

Booo!
the stinking links never work. I'm DONE with kodak photo gallery. they make me angry.

AND, a post-script to this post: i have since found some Jeans and even bought a couple of sweaters! ...still not boots.

THanks for the comments Rach, and Marci..great to hear from you!
Katie

heidi said...

I agree, you write with true colors Katie! What a riot! Marci sent me your blog address, so I am so glad to hear what you two are doing! Our world is filled with the left over remains of meals that Luke has since relayed to the floor. But our joy of watching him teeter around on two feet, give REAL WET kisses, and then peacefully sleep at night is a true blessing in life.

Enjoy the sunsets!
:) Heidi

Shelly said...

Hey Katie! Yes, European shopping can be somewhat depressing if you don't know what to look for... Zara and Mango were two of my favorites---and don't let their size charts get you down! When I was in Spain, I was at my skinniest(a 130 vs. my 140+ usual self)--and I still wore a Large in shirts and a 42 or 44 in their pants. As for shoes--I bought some boots while I was there. I'll check the size tonight and let you know what they were--maybe that will help you find an equivalent. Don't give up!! You can and Will come home with bags of European fashions to make all of us staid Americans green with envy. :)
I miss you girl! Be safe~

rocky said...

I agree you are an excellent writer. Much funnier than the voices in my head. The Blog is hillarious because half of it I experience with ya. Its almost over and that makes me sad. By the way you think you have problems shopping...I am the only 220 lb french man in this country. I did find a hat:) love ya!